Action 11

I should lean on others. Seek and accept

  • Gifts of the Heart (emotional social supports)
  • Gifts of the Hands (practical, tangible helping actions)
  • Gifts of the Head (informational guidance and advice)

Some individuals have difficulty determining if they, indeed, have problems that warrant seeking help. One strategy that has been used successfully with traumatized individuals is to have them fill out the following Self-assessment Worksheet that was developed by Dr. Ronald Murphy with his clients. What problems, if any, do you have that you can work on? Filling out the chart honestly will help you assess your life situation.

Problem Identification Worksheet

If you look at your life, you can take stock of which category problem areas such as anger, intimacy, isolation, trust, legal, health, sleep, alcohol, smoking and being a perfectionist fall under. Has someone you care about urged you to get help for these problems? Have you felt guilty or embarrassed about the way you handled this situation? Has an important relationship at home, at work, or among friends been strained because of this problem? Do you feel you need to seek assistance? What might get in the way of your seeking such help?

Problems I definitely have:

Problems I wonder if I have:

Problems other people say I have:

Problems I definitely don’t have:

Quotable Quotes

“When I took stock, I realized I need help. I needed to change how I was spending my time.”

“When I went back to college, I discovered how many other vets were fellow students. I was able to hook up with them. It brought back my sense of belonging, connectedness. I was able to lean on them for information (head support), shared story-telling (heart support) and car-pooling (hand support).”

Action 12